Monday 31 December 2012

The New Year Prayer



These are bad times gentleman, the world seems to be to frail a place to live in. For a second it did seem that the Hollywood proclaimed Mayan prophecy was right after all, with impending social doom resonating from all cardinal directions. At times we feel bereft of all sanity, such is the hope and happiness of today, jaded and desolate. 



But every year is a new year, every beginning a new beginning and though the horizon looks bleak now we can hope and we can believe that a time of bliss will unfold. We can hope for a day the world's women can walk freely without the fear of cannibals, we can believe in a day when the children of Haiti can eat a full meal and smile their innocent smiles. We can dream of an era sans guns and bombs where all men can sleep peacefully. We can believe in a tomorrow that is worthy of humanity and is bright and colorful as the world of fairy tales  This friends is my wish and prayer for the year to come.


HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS

Thursday 27 December 2012

Simple and Sensible : Once Upon the Tracks of Mumbai - Rishi Vohra



The candid caricature of a bereft man, a man in the cusp of manhood, his dreams, ambitions and his frustrations. When through purely accidental circumstances he turns out to be the super hero that the metro was craving, it means an opportunity for him to express himself for the first time in front of a society that has for so long ignored his existence. Rishi Vohra's Once upon the tracks of Mumbai is an inquiry into the mental dilemmas of such a man.


It is only true that occasionally we discover ourselves and rediscover ourselves in this master work of his. The truth being that Railman is just as identifiable to me as I am to me. Every teen who has had his heart long for justice in these troubled times has a Railman inside him who goes around kicking the ass of those villains. But when Babloo finds himself becoming Railman, he experiences an acceptance the society was unwilling to give his true self, making him believe that being Railman was the reason for his being. The fall of his ideal being causes much confusion that poor Babloo finds baffling.


The story of how Babloo deals with all the problems of his life, from love to social acceptance and the moment of clarity that he experiences teaches us more about us than about Babloo. In a way Once upon the tracks of Mumbai is more about self than anything else. A good book, simple and sensible is a book worth reading and has a small feel good factor about it. Hence Rishi Vohra's Once upon the tracks of Mumbai is an official Rupertt wind recommendation.

Saturday 22 December 2012

50 Books in 2012



I Read 50 books in 2012, Yes baby, FIFTY. And thanks to Goodreads.com, I have been able to keep track of it.

I took upon the challenge in July, so I was trailing by a big margin. actually huge is the word. But somehow I made it. I must be thanking good reads for rekindling my love for the dusty pages. :)

You must all try The good reads challenge. It would do you a ton of good.

So there goes the list of the fifty books I so voraciously consumed.





Rupertt's bookshelf: read

The Casual Vacancy
The Communist Manifesto
رباعيات خيام
House of Many Ways
Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There
Letter from Peking
Winnie-the-Pooh
Here on Earth
The Shadow Lines
The Company Of Women
The Glass Menagerie
Pride and Prejudice
The Bankster
Little Women
The Mysterious Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
Loving Each Other
The Lady With the Little Dog and Other Stories, 1896-1904
Only Love Is Real: A Story of Soulmates Reunited
The Sun Also Rises
The Krishna Key


Rupertt Wind's favorite books »

Friday 21 December 2012

Bang Bang, Gang Bang



women protesting against rape

Okay, this is not a porn site. So all those who came here looking for a quick wack and something cheesy, just go back from where ever you have come. If you are still sticking around, then don't be disappointed at the end, if you are then I will have to go all "I told you so" on you. Though I don't hate doing it, I am sure you would. So that's brings us to the questions " what's with the cheesy title? Rupertt". I thought this would give me a few extra pageviews. Just kidding... The real reason is that's what I wanted to do when I heard of the gang rapes in Delhi, go all bang bang on the gang bangers.


I am pretty sure that most of you have heard something or the other about these gruesome incidents in the Indian capital. For those who, who hasn't, I will give a quick recap. A girl was traveling in a bus with her male friend, her boyfriend, colleague, just friend I don't know, not the point here though. So the bus also had some shady characters in it, starting with the bus driver and extending to a couple of passengers. So they starts taunting her, the male friend interjects. He gets beaten up ( awesome guts dude ) and then they go on to rape her and later dumps them some place. Sorry, I can't give a blow by blow account of what happened, principally because I don't know. But if you need to know just Google "Delhi gang rapes", it's huge news you can't miss it.


women protesting against rape


It is not actually breaking news that the Indian youth is sex starved, yes prejudiced mothers your son and daughter are too. I just exited teen age statistically, I know all the less than civil fantasies that rampage their tender minds, all because I harbor them too. I know how dangerous their intentions can be, because I know how dangerous mine is. I am not your occasional rapist, I wouldn't do that or so I believe. Even if I don't trust my intentions, I trust my upbringing and I have all faith in my rationale. But the point is this if I harbor such infidel thoughts, what would a less disciplined mind house, I can only guess with much terror.


What we must investigate is the root cause of all this evil, okay proprietors of child marriage, wait! You are not helping. We must try to understand the sexual need of today, I can tell you that it does not one bit good to look upon today's sexuality with the conservative eyes of yesterday. Today's youth knows more of sexuality than you would know in a lifetime. The progressive Indian teen who is exposed to the freedom of sexual expressionism prevalent in the western way of life cultivates in him a desire for such freedom. Freedom once tasted leaves a hangover spanning a lifetime and inculcates a strong desire to achieve it. This desire when suppressed by the Indian way of life and it's taboos does what a pressure cooker does to its contents. Some become submissive others rebel.

statistics on rapeBut even when that underlines the injudicious way the teenage India's mind works, it still does not justify its misdemeanors. It is not supposed. What I stated is not a justification but a problem and its anatomy. What we need to do to counter such onslaught of civil and cultural unrest is what we have to look into. One may argue for more stringent punishment for these vile creatures. It sure will serve as a better deterrent but doesn't really solve the problem does it? Even with the surety of death penalty men will continue to rape women, because they don't think when they rape they just do.


What we should do is not for me to offer with my limited intelligence on bureaucratic red-tap-ism in India. but what I tend to offer as a possibility is what I feel is necessary for the next generation of citizens to know what they hold in terms of civil and civilian responsibilities. I believe a strong and compulsory session must be there in the upper school years when the children are at the most vulnerable from their own sexuality. It is a matter of utmost importance that a teenager be made to understand his sexuality and realize that it is not a taboo. The banner of taboo-ism must at all cost be eliminated from the society so that they wont end up doing shady things in their pursuit of sexual liberty. 


I know I don't have much to offer in curbing the criminality in today's men, but I think a safer world for women can be created by tendering to the children who would soon take over this world from us. We have to make them understand that the other gender is to be respected and acknowledged and not to be looked down upon. This must go either way to ensure that we have a new India when gender equality is predominant and is an underlining principle of its existence.


10 tips to prevent rape




Monday 17 December 2012

The art of letting go






I have heard people mention several a times that the whole point of life was to let go of it, piece by piece and person by person. To gain many a things through hard labour and then silently watch it being squandered away. The withering away is to life what ever birth and growth will ever be, in fact it is more to life than birth would be. It is what completes and fulfils life. It is the final act of redemption, the last nuance of liberation.


A wise man had once said that a man starts to die the moment he is born, that his life is but a eventful journey to his grave. But life is more than the slow withering away, isn't it? Life is not the indeterminate decaying of self, it is not a subtle dance to death.


During the short tenancy upon this earth it is true that we must at many times learn to let go. Every time something dear and near to us dematerializes, one has to cope survive the vast vacuum it leaves behind. But always the real challenge is to acknowledge it's transiency, even when one knows what that is lost is lost and no longer ones to cry over. The real challenge is to accept that something's no more and no longer worth saddening over.


Hence the art of letting go remains the final art to master. Why we find it so difficult to grasp, must come from the fact that we had all our lives tried to for go the truth and establish its permanence. We always believe that what we have will remain, we always believe that our grandfather who is 95 now and sick over a decade will never die. Thus with futile belief we make a facet and wear it so often that it becomes an integral part of us. It is with attachment that we wield our life and this is the cause of all our great fears.




To learn to let go one must understand that life is more than these bonds. I make no claim of afterlife and nor of some superior understanding of the spiritual realm, all I know is this one life and all my assumptions stems from a need to understand it. When all you have is just one life, it seems inexplicably expensive to waste it in any way. The truth about letting go is hence very selfish in natural. To let go is to take upon one's life a responsibility of one's life, to live it with a greed beyond compare.



The guru granth sahib asks us to celebrate the mystic reunion and not to be sad in the final absolution of a dear one's existence. But to let go is not always about death, more dreadful is it when we have to let go of someone on our own and is not forced upon us. They are by all means necessary and though not as imposing as death may be are still very much necessary. The act of some one leaving for good, not so much as bothering to say farewell is deafening to the soul. Yet you know very well that it is just as necessary.


I pretend not to preach but yet the alien perfection betrays my pretensions  What ever it may be and however I say it, the truth about letting go is simple, you simply have to. The art of letting go is hence simple as well,  at least in principle. The art of letting go is to refrain from clutching on, it is to let go with entirety and not to force upon one's self the separation. To Let the tide of time unite and dissociate at will. That is the art of letting go.

Friday 14 December 2012

My Bucket List




  1. Go on a World tour.

  1. Go skydiving.

  1. Go Bungee Jumping.

  1. Go diving.

  1. Publish a novel.

  1. Marry my girlfriend.

  1. Have One million page views on my blog.

  1. Learn Swimming.

  1. Learn to play Guitar.

  1. Publish my poems.

  1. Build a large telescope.

  1. Get a star named after my wife.

  1. Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world.

  1. Go to a renaissance fair dressed as shakespeare.

  1. Go to disneyland.

  1. Build a house and Make it a home.

  1. Win a first place in a indiblogger contest.

  1. Sponsor a child.

  1. Get an aquarium.

  1. Buy a small electric car.

  1. Revamp my philatelic collection.

  1. Change a person's life for the better.

  1. Go on  a trip without watch, mobile phone and no map.

  1. Read 500 novels.

  1. New year in Sydney with my wife.

  1. Go to Kailash, bath in Mansarovar

  1. Go to Antarctica

Thursday 6 December 2012

Android Me

Of course this ain't no tech blog, though I am a geek, I dint bring my work home with me. but the blog is about android... 

Hmm... not exactly...

Its about my new phone, Yes you heard it right, I went android too. Smart Huh?


So it happened thus...

My mother who obviously has a lot of money in her hand now, I guess all these talks about global slow down , recessions and a lot of wild bears roaming in the market means very little to a government employee like her.

For those who are unaware of government jobs in  India, its like a good damn insurance policy where all you have to do is sit in the office and you are bound to get your salary irrespective of whether you work or not. Its actually good to be a government employee in India. you wont get rich if you are neat and clean but you will never know what poverty is and neither will you know what hard work is.

So back to the story of my phone ....

My mother who obviously has a lot of money in her hand now decided that my phone is from another era and I am lagging behind in society. 

Thank god for that, I wonder what took her so long to notice. anyway better late than never.

So in her bid to increase my social stature in a rather highly utilitarian society, she bought me a new android phone. 

Before I tell you more about the phone just let me tell you this. Indian mothers don't buy their children anything unless they do something remarkable or if they give them a very hard time and are being impossible to shut up.

So my mother wanted an excuse so badly, that she decided to give the phone as a gift for procuring a new job in a Multi-National Company around half an year back. 

Old news right, but not to her. she revived the news made it the talk of the town.

By town we mean a rather small group of her closest friends, whose idea of  leisure time is to make tea and chat away the evening on phone discussing everything under the sun from the "impact of FDI relaxations in retail industry" to "Whether Aishwarya and Abhishek are doing it right with their daughter".

By the way my mother is a big fan of FDI, she just cant wait for the first Walmart store to open. Looks like shopping is hidden some where in the female gene. But Abhishek and Aishwarya are not so lucky, They usually get to face the wrath of the mother in her.

Geez... I haven't told you about the phone right...

Its alright i will write another post some other time ... Just kidding ...

So where we were?

Oh! yes.

My mother who obviously has a lot of money in her hand now decided that my phone is from another era and I am lagging behind in society. She contact her friend, who in turn contacted her friends and he in turn contacted a mobile phone dealer he knew and thus poor bastard who happened not to have the particular model procured the phone from a friend of his and handed back to the my mother friend's friend. he gave it to my mother's friend who gave to my mom.

So much ordeal to but phone? I guess she has her own wicked ways of doing things. Whom am I to complain I am the one who got the phone.

So in case you are still wondering what phone I bought and what it has to do with anything I am telling you.

If you really must know its a Samsung Galaxy S Duos. It still smells new ( may not be for long, but still...).

And it has absolutely nothing to do with the article or anything I wrote..

So what its my blog I do as I please... :P

So till I find a new and crazy topic to talk about.... So long 

Oh by the way I have a new Signature.... what do you think guys ?




Saturday 1 December 2012

The Traits of a Honorable Man




What makes a honorable man? What makes him a Gentleman? Is it what he wears and how he treads ? or is it how he behaves or how he acts upon? What differentiates him from a sensible man and what what makes him an exotic species?  Is it great deeds and illuminated decorations that weigh down upon his chest? Or is it the fancy cars and the opulence of his living? Is it majestic orations or his conduct that is watched upon with much awe? What makes him an honorable man? What makes him a gentleman?



For starters, one thing we could say with much certainty is that neither fame or money nor power plays any significant role in making a man honorable. Though I admit there are a few powerful, rich gentlemen out there who are so famous, they alone doesn't make a man honorable. Honor comes not form the chastised vaults of great treasure or by flimsy pathways of glitter and glamour and the eternal stutter of the snapping shutters. To stand testimonial to this claim of mine I have an innumerable array of people who has disappointed utterly and disgraced themselves publicly. A list that ranges from drunken celebrities to brainless bureaucrats who has been caught with their pants down or their hands down the cookie jar. So if it is not money, fame or power that brings honor then what does? 


Many may argue that its education that would bring honor to men. But I cant but help disagree. though I would not completely nullify its contributions in making a man a  honorable one I cant tell that education alone will make one honorable. had that been the case the earth must be by now over flowing with honorable men. We don't see that right? What we see is great and educated men making a big ass of themselves in public and private. They get inflicted by the devils gene no matter how many degrees and scholarships they hold. Even those that appear to be honorable in their collared lives flutter when the corporate facets come off. So what is that, that beyond education that is required to instill honor in a human being. 


May be its wisdom, but what is wisdom? is wisdom a form of realization or is it the cumulative experience of years and years of  the perils of human life. Wisdom is not a quantifiable quality of human nature, but its a n abstract word that represents a greater level of learning. A level of learning that cant be understood by none other than the wise and that can only be admired and observed in awe. 


The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night. 


I believe what makes a man honorable has much to do with wisdom and realization but not completely. There is something more that is necessary to make him the complete man. That something is love, compassion and an array of such subtle but vehement feelings. To be a honorable man takes more that just a long beard and a pair of round glasses, it takes a feeling of universal belonging and consideration for others. It takes the ability to make the right decision and to adherence to the truth and righteousness. It take sense  and sensitivity to another man's feelings and the coherent ability to understand others pain and suffering  this together makes a man honorable and this is why the remain and forever will remain an exotic species and among men they will always walk tall and elusively. 

Thursday 29 November 2012

Karthika Villaku : What I missed this time.




Every year around this time, in the shade of the full moon we keralites ( not all, some) celebrate the festival of  Karthika. I cant tell you why we celebrate this particular festival because I do not know why. But every year we embellish our houses with a million a lighted lamps and let it simmer the golden glow of the burning oil flame.  I do remember the times mother, me and my brother lighted the whole house up in such fiery splendor. That was only last year by the way. When it was in my ancestral house it was something even more spectacular. The entire family would rush to the top of the house at sun down and start lighting up the lamps one by one till every possible place in the house is basking in its glow. 


But this year, it was different. I did not even know that the festival was over until a day past. My mother used to remember it always and I used to be at home always when it happened. But this time she is not here neither am I. I suppose then the family thought nay this time around. There happened the first time that our dear house stood in solemn silence and darkness when the whole neighborhood erupted in the golden glow. 


I guess next time its different, may be one more time i would get to enjoy these simple pleasures again. 

Thursday 22 November 2012

The Indian Moral Victory

The lady of Justice


To kill someone can never be demeaned as civil, but this statement stands in stark contradiction to what India has done. India has killed someone and yet she has managed to remain morally clean and ideologically pristine. The hanging of Kasab can be considered nothing less than a clean  example of the prevailing sense of justice in India. India has showcased to the world its adherence to justice and its ability to provide a fair trial to all alike.


Before we start off on our analysis of what had happened its better we know a little background of the things. The Kasab we talk about here is the lone terrorist who has been captured alive after the 26/11 attack on Mumbai. The one terrorist strike that has made the whole nation stand on its toes for over a couple of days. Such was the magnanimity of the attacks that the nation was never the same again. After four years of intense judicial procedures he was sent to the gallows yesterday, signalling the end of one India's most awaited trials.


The fact that he was send to the gallows is not what matters, any nation would have did the same may be even sooner. But India did something very few of the nations would ever ensure, India did that what can only be provided by a superior nation. India gave its supreme criminal, the one that deserved no mercy a chance to defend himself and plead innocence. India gave Kazab a lawyer and open for him all the avenues of its legal system. India made no haste and spared no expense, it did no mock trials and it made no hasty judgements. It let the case go as any other case of the same would go on this soil. It preserved the interest of the defaulter, treated him as a human and hence ensured that after its all over it shall rise high and mighty. 


As a citizen of India, I ma well aware of the feelings of its people, I have at first hand understood and empathised with there anger and angst. They wanted it over fast, they wanted him hanged and were tired of waiting. They were desperate for justice and this is easier to understand. The fact that the nation showed much will power in ensuring that justice shall take its turn is praise worthy especially considering that the other option was for many a reason far more attractive and hassle free. But then again a nation has to stand for its ideals, A nation is not the barb wires that separate it, but it is the ideas , ideals and the morality its determined to uphold.

Sunday 18 November 2012

Bon Voyage, Cousin!


Cousins



I got a call a few minutes ago, it is impossible to call it a call, all it was a monologue of half a sentence long. A string of words from him and an uneasy silence on my part, that’s what our conversation was. Can I call it a conversation I am not sure, but one thing I am sure of is that the feeling were genuine, even though my response was brutal and highly prejudiced.


Before I divulge what he spoke and what its implications are, I must tell you who he is and what he meant to me in another era. He is my cousin that much I am sure you would have guessed and here is more about my cousin that you would need to know to understand our relationship and its prejudices. I am willing to write about him only because I know he will never read it and even my stupid family will never stumble upon this, it will be buried deep in my archives waiting for an occasional visit and will eventually be forgotten. I guess when it comes to my cousin my ungratefulness extends to such a level that I could not even remember his name. May be its true that when relationships are forgotten through time and when they gets buried for so long in memory even blood shall lose its flavor.


He is cousin or nephew I know not which, I suppose I never got hold of their distinctions and I sure am not in a mood to look it up now. The fact it makes no difference what so ever to anything that I have to say or what I feel. His name is Vaishak and he is the son of fathers only sister. My father comes from not a wealthy family and he climbed up the social ladder (so he claims) on his own through much hard work and perseverance, hence his crude mannerisms. His love for book is perhaps the only personality trait I inherited from him or all I want to inherit form him. But nevertheless unlike him his family was not so lucky, I am not pretty sure whether “lucky” is the right word to use.

Bon Voyage

His sister’s marriage though happy is not with someone whose second nature is to have a rainy day account. This nature of his always left them at a state of perpetual poverty, never too rich never too poor either, kind of in the in between. This though in contemporary society is regarded as unfortunate, this has preserved in them a sense of innocence that is seldom seen among the corporate animals that roam the concrete jungles. They have simple taste and even simpler lives, something to envy I guess. 


My mother has instilled in me prejudices so coarse that it took me 21 years of my life to clear the soot and look at it with any clarity of mind. Such has been the extend of the prejudices that I forgot that my father actually had a family. It was like things in a fairy tales that are too good to exist. But I must Say my mother is not a bad person but pride and ego can do terrible things even to the amiable of angels. Don’t hate my mother I beg you, she doesn’t deserve that, She was only protecting me from what she had convinced herself was bad. Nonetheless her actions deprived me from understanding life as it is in its raw form. Alienating me from people who were earthly and volatile the same. I had to learn the art of being contended at the smallest of things on my own, to cherish the wet mud that molds my feet and the sight of the rare blue butterfly or even the smell of the virgin earth being touched by the mighty rains hands. But I ended up spending one third of my life learning these things when I could have readily understood it all, It was all there just outside.



I still remember the time I had spent with my cousin, the times we bathed together when we were children in the small open bathroom with mulberry bush hanging from one side, Splashing water from the little tank that use to store the water from the well. The little garden with all the beautiful flowers and the tasty mulberry bushes. The many a wonderful evening spend playing in the faint stream that ran by the green paddy fields. I still remember the small aquarium he had, a small one, with so many little fishes in it. Nothing too fancy, no expensive fishes just the ones he had caught form the nearby stream. He had even taught me how to catch a fish with nothing but a plain piece of cloth, Alas! I had forgotten it, I had forgotten it long ago I suppose along with the sweet memories of that era.



It surprises me how much there is to tell, I never knew the faded photographs in my father’s old photo album had so much history, so many memories in it. I never knew that the characters in those pictures had a life and they were more than their innocent smiles and that they were ones very much alive. Strange what one phone call, a few minutes of someone’s voice can accomplish. I don’t want to tell anything, may be another time when I feel I am much more ready to face the truth of life.



He had called me now to tell me that he is going to Qatar, in search of a job. I am sure he got a job in there where his other uncle works, I did not so much are bother to ask what he is doing and what job he got. I did not tell him anything but I did pray for him, pray that all that is good shall only befall him and I prayed him Bon Voyage.

Monday 12 November 2012

The Search for Love




I believe every one of us at one time or the other starts searching for love. Some go through their whole life ignoring their hearts desire just to search feverishly for what is it that matters on their death beds. Some others are truly lucky, Love finds them. Love presents itself in front of them in such lovely ways that it is impossible for anyone to ignore. Lucky Bastards. But many of us are not that fortunate yet we don’t give up, we are not undermined, we search for it with all our vigor.


Why do I love the silence of the moon,

The paradisal distance of the dawn,




I believe myself lucky when it comes to love. No, love did not show itself in front of me and knock on my door but I did not had to search much to find it an I was luckier still that I knew it when I found it. It really is true that when true love blossoms its hard to ignore and impossible to notice. It feels like the whole and everything in it comes to be revolving around that special someone. What you do and what you think, everything starts and ends with that someone.


The depth of eve mysteriously withdrawn,

Better than all the roses of late June,



One can always force oneself to love a person but that is not the true nature of love. At all times such love shall feel empty and its abysmal absence felt upon mankind? One cam always adjust, analyze and feel secure in love. Love is inherently volatile, unyielding and never shape. It is as chaotic as the moments of genesis was and so is it just as tranquil and serene as the midnight lakes. Love takes no prisoners nor ever call for peace, yet it is never the war nor the clandestine blood splatter.




The garden's breath, the orchard's golden boon,

The burning brightness of the new-mown lawn,



I had my heart broken not once, not twice nor thrice but many more a times. It has been bruised and it has been violated beyond healing, yet my heart could not stop itself from the vindictive search for love. Then came the absence, the abstinence and the stale doldrums and after all of the hells ailments came the light and came the peace.



The mossy forest-floor with beech-mast strawn,

And green trees waving in the depth of noon.




It was a smile at first and then a giggle, It was a hello at first and then serene silence, a touch then its prolonged absence, an emptiness and then the feeling of universal belonging and then the feeling of weightlessness sans hunger sans thirst. Like the vagabond clouds in the heaven his mighty and afterwards the freshness of the virgin earth at the first touch of the mighty rain.









Night hath her dreams and the lone heart its tears;

Silence and longing weep themselves to rest



Then one day in the autumnal bliss of the solitary morning, in her lovely poster resembling much mighty artists’ works and in the absence of time, space and reason I knew, I knew what is it that I held in my heart and unknowingly sans reason and logic I drew her near and sealed us with a kiss. Not a long prolonged slobbering of lust but the lightest brushing my trembling lips on her snow like cheek.




Each on the other's mild and maiden breast;

The seeking spirit sighs, the dim star hears;



Oh Bliss Eternal. This was the moment of great love that had extended many a millennia, time was not in any hurry and reason had not one bit of sand to stand upon. This was our moment and our alone and the all the earth and the heavens above were ours and ours alone. This was my moment of enlightening   and my moment of atonement. The final act of supreme love and from it came love and love only.

Distance and high devotion suit the best,

And deep as thy deep eyes the dawn appears.